Lily is born!!!

Hello. Live from the bedside with Devinder. The midwives, Deborah and Emma, are taking the baby's temperature while Marussia is working with Lily''s nipple latching. VERY exciting I tell you! The baby's head popped outta Marussia and into the bathwater around 4am or so. Wow!! Pretty darn fanatastic! A few more pushes later and out she came. Just a few moments of worry 'cause she was real quiet when she surfaced. Emma was there with the suction thingy in case there was any of the evil poo-bile but then Lily sucked in some air and cried. There was much rejoicing. Clamped the cord, I cut the cord and then baby and Marussia were out of the bath. Emma and I got Marussia comfortable on the bed for the delivery of the placenta while Deborah did a quick baby one-over. Moments later the baby was back in Marussia's arms, me watching her eyes opening and closing, hands in her mouth, listening to her quiet warbles. The placenta was a strange delivery, no pain, just no contractions to push it along. The sack came out, bagged and tagged into the freezer, cord blood extracted 'cause of her crazy blood type and with that- delivery complete!

There will be more tales to come.

cheers, Devinder

For the birth story, pictures and the day to day adventures of raising Lily, please go click HERE!

39 Weeks

I don't really know what to write actually, which is why I haven't updated all day. Things are all over the map. One minute I am on the floor in child's pose breathing thru a super strong contraction and the next minute I feel totally fine and dandy. Soooo, I don't really know what to say. My contractions go from 6 or 8 minutes apart and then they go back to 15 minutes apart and then back down to 10 minutes etc... My lower back aches like there's no tomorrow, and then it stops again and all is well with the world. My midwife says we are in early labour and sometimes it just lasts a little longer for some women. So I guess we're waiting and it's not as much fun as the waiting was before I started to have such strong signs. Now we are impatient and I just want to get it over and done with. I have had a taste of what it's going to be like and I could almost see a clear path to victory and I really feel like I can do this. I feel strong again and excited and oh so ready. But the waiting, it's an emotional rollercoaster and you just don't know when the ride will end...

Morning Update

We're still here, but I feel like we're really close now! I woke up at 4 am to the strongest contractions yet, complete with a lower back ache and finally some pain! Yippee I thought, those are some damn good signs! I breathed nicely thru them for about 2 hours when I guess I got tired of timing them and fell back to sleep. I don't remember them being much closer than 6 or 7 minutes apart. Now that I am awake again I am still having contractions, but they are no longer as painful and my back ache has disappeared completely. I still have bloody show, more so than yesterday and a brighter red so we're moving up my cervix and maybe I'll actually see some amniotic fluid soon. We put a shower curtain under our sheets last night to protect our futon in case my water did break. If you are ever looking for an inexpensive way to make your bed extremely thermal, use a shower curtain, cause man, we were both boiling hot last night!

So is this the day little one? Cause now that we've gone this far, we are sooo ready to meet you...

Who Needs Labour Anyway?

What a fantastic day, labour or no labour, I couldn't have asked for a better day! I am still having contractions like a mad woman, and although I am feeling intense downward pressure when they happen, there is no pain yet, so it may still be a while before I am "officially" in labour. I have been wearing a pad all day as I have a lot of bloody show. I am not sure I fully basked in the glory that is not having your period for 9 months, but it's a small price to pay if it means we get to meet our baby tonight. We went for a very long walk on the beach with my sister and my dad and all the dogs. The sun was shining bright and warm and everything just felt so right. I still feel extremely excited and I want to believe that this is "it", but I am hesitant at the same time. So I am just enjoying this time, these feelings and this beautiful day!

We are off to dinner for Devinder's mom's birthday and then we have a quiet evening planned. I will post tomorrow morning and if I don't, then I guess you can expect a birth story next!!

Well...

It snowed last night and I have been having contractions about 6 or 7 minutes apart since 7am. I also had bloody show in the shower. So we are going for a walk with the dogs on the beach to try to keep em' coming. I have this incredible feeling of excitement welling up from deep inside of me, but I also feel very sceptical that this could really be it. So we'll see and we'll post more later when we know more. Have a great day...

Still Here...

Yep it's true, we're still pregnant!! I can't believe I went on bedrest at 35 weeks to stop having conractions and now I hardly seem to be getting any! The baby has moved WAAAAY down south and I now feel movement in places I never did before. And I can't put my own socks on by myself anymore cause it causes me to have sharp shooting pains in my nether regions when I bend in half like that. Devinder really likes putting them on, in fact he said "I can't believe you haven't asked before!" Who knew, this whole time he's been hankering to put my socks on for me! We are still enjoying our time together, still enjoying the waiting, but every day we think this must be THE day! I am thinking more and more about evening primrose oil and other natural forms of stimulating contractions. But, I haven't tried anything yet cause I still have to do my taxes and get caught up with the second season of Lost and it would be great to go swimming and take yoga with my sister this weekend and and and...so I'm predicting I'll be at least 41 weeks before this baby arrives, maybe 42 weeks and have to induced!! A word of praise for bedrest, it really does work!

Waiting...

A lot of people have asked me what it's like waiting for this baby to be born. I have to say, it's pretty funny. We are constantly looking for signs of labour, so much so that I feel like we may be making up signs at times. Like everytime I go pee I think to myself "Is that just pee, or did my water break?" Then there's the nesting urge which is a common sign that labour is about to begin. So I find myself constantly questioning whether I am nesting more or less everyday, cause we are still moving in and unpacking so really, every day is a nesting day. But maybe today I nested more than usual?? And they also say that your baby will stop moving just before labour begins. Well yesturday I was rather alarmed cause I just didn't feel my baby all that much. But then just as a lay down in bed it started moving same as usual, but maybe it was moving less than normal? See what I mean, it's very funny! And then there is still the thought that we actually control when this baby arrives. For the most part we would love for our baby to already be here, but then we joke that if it stays in a little longer we'll get to do a bit more to the house, and Devinder can get a few more bike rides in and maybe we could have a few more dates and watch a few more episodes of Battlestar Galactica. So I have not been drinking raspberry leaf tea, even though I have some and it calls to me from the cupboard "Marussia, you know you want me, come on, surely just one cup won't bring on labour..." But maybe it would. We don't have sex either, cause apparantly there is a hormone in sperm which can soften and ripen that cervix of mine and bring on labour. It does seem a little strange to do it now anyways with that head so damn low, even though I kind of like the thought that the same way the baby got in there could be just the ticket to getting out. So the waiting is funny, it makes me laugh and for now it's not too crazy, but I could see it starting to drive me mad. I feel like we are in limbo, like I've stopped being pregnant and am literally just waiting, waiting, waiting...

38 Weeks

Wow, we made it to 38 weeks!! My midwife was quite shocked to see me walk into the clinic for my appointment today. She too is expecting me to have this baby any day now and can hardly believe we've held out this long. I'm measuring 33.5 inches and still have a total weight gain of 18lbs, same as last week, but at least I haven't lost anything. She is very positive and believes that we will have a very healthy baby. I am starting to have contractions lying down now, so not just as a result of me getting up and moving about. Oh and the baby has dropped even more and is now sitting at -1 in the pelvis station chart, so one away from being fully engaged and ready to go. So really, when are you coming little one?

37 Week Ultrasound

So we got our ultrasound results back and here's what they revealed: WE HAVE A SMALL BABY!! Really?!!?! You don't say...

We are in the 10th percentile for size, which means that 90% of babies delivered at 37 weeks will be bigger than our baby. So the longer it stays put, the bigger it will grow, but we probably aren't going to have a baby much larger than 6 pounds. The good news is that the baby is fully developed, has excellent muscle and bone mass and will be perfectly fine if born tomorrow, just small is all. My amniotic fluid levels are on the low side, but still fine. If I do make it to 40 weeks, we will have to have another ultrasound to measure fluid levels just to make sure there is still enough in there for the baby. In the meantime I am to continue eating large amounts of high protein foods in an effort to try to gain a little more weight.

I just realised all the people with guesses in the baby pool are really kicking themselves now for guessing that we'd have a 9 pounder! Serves you right! Well, maybe now that we have a bit more information, if anyone wants to leave a comment with a guess for the baby pool (no money needed) that might be a fun game to play while we wait! Include sex, weight and date and I'll organize it and post it up...

Me and my baby...

Devinder and his baby...

And our finished living room floor, our other baby...

Hello Loyal Fans!

We got the call tonight, you know the one you've all been thinking of making, the "you haven't posted in 4 days so does that mean you've had your baby?" call. I am so sorry we have neglected you, our loyal fans, and the answer is, no we have not had our baby yet - I am still very much pregnant! From now on I will try to update daily so you are not all sitting around thinking it's happened when it hasn't.

Life has actually been pretty good lately. I was so worried that we wouldn't get everything finished and have enough down time before the baby came, but things really do have a way of working themselves out. Not only is the flooring done, but the amount of stuff left to unpack is so minimal that I find myself not really caring if it's all taken care of before the big day. The downtime I so longed for has arrived and we are basking in it. We have been sleeping in, doing a couple hours of work on the house and then snuggling up and watching movies in the afternoon, going for long walks thru the woods with our dog and in the evenings we've been playing with family and friends. It's a pretty amazing time to be alive actually. We are on the brink of so much, so much unknown and the excitement is felt in every breath we take. All this waiting, so far, is the best built up surprise in the world. As excited as we are to meet our wee one, these last days are just so precious and we are enjoying every last drop of them. At the same time, knowing that we are allowed to go into labour now, has changed things dramatically. Every pain, twitch, tinge or noise I make is seen as a sign of labour. "Is this it?" my mind repeats over and over again. I mean we were just so damn close 2 weeks ago, is this baby really going to hang in there until I'm a full 40 weeks, or longer? I guess we'll just have to wait and see...

37 Weeks

We made it!! We are officially considered "Full Term" and can expect our baby anytime in the next 5 weeks! I am off bedrest and VERY happy to be so. I took my dog for a walk this morning and went into town for our midwife appointment, had lunch with Devinder and ran errands. I am exhausted and I had a million contractions doing all that moving around so I am maxing out my freedom of movement and free time just in case it happens sooner than later.

Our midwife appointment was great. I gained 4.5 pounds for a total pregnancy weight gain of 18 pounds, which is close enough to the 20 pounds they like you to have gained by now. I am happy, they are happy and tomorrow's ultrasound is feeling more and more like a formality than a neccessity and my guilt is lessening. I did have a nightmare last night that the ultrasound showed that I was having an alien baby - so subconciously I must be slightly afraid.

Speaking of fear, I am finding myself with scary thoughts realising that it really is too late to turn back, I really have to go thru with this whole labour thing. On the whole I am still more excited and curious about labour than scared, but I do have fear. I blame the bedrest actually as I think it made me a bit of a victim of pregnancy. I know I felt a lot more confident and strong before having to lay down for 2 weeks. The longer you get treated like a fragile object the more you start to believe that it must be true. I always took pride in my over confident, even smug look at labour, even with people constantly telling me how horrible it's all going to be, I really felt invinsible. Now I question wether I can REALLY do this. I mean I know I can do this, but will I be as strong as I'd like to be? I don't think I've really learned anything now that I think about it. Going on bedrest really made me realise that you can't plan a picture perfect birth and should really be open to any and all curve balls which may be thrown your way. But here I am still picturing the perfect way I'd like to birth this baby. It only makes sense that I would begin to doubt myself after putting that much pressure on myself to be a certain way during an event in life that you really get no rehearsal for. Am I councelling myself or what?

Anyways, at some point since we've bought this house and changed midwives to birth here instead of in Vancouver, I had a vision that it would be snowing on the day I went into labour. I didn't remember that I had this "vision" until today, when low and behold, it's snowing...

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We spent some time this morning adding both Atom and RSS feeds to our site and would appreciate any feedback on wether we did it right or not. The links are on the right under the profile container.

Last Day of bedrest - woo hoo!

Midwife Appointment

Day 10 of bedrest, only 2 more to go!!

We had our first midwife appointment at our house today which was pretty cool. She got to check out our bathtub we intend to use for our waterbirth and we got a very good idea of how things are going to go down on the day, whichever day that will be after Sunday at midnight. We have to go in for an ultrasound appointment on Tuesday because I have not gained any weight or inches in 4 weeks. She says it's mostly routine just to make absolutely sure everything is tickety-boo with the baby and with my levels of amniotic fluid. Because our baby is still VERY active and because most of the women in my family carry little basketballs and gain little weight, she is quite confident that everything is just fine, but it will be good to be absolutely sure before proceeding with the planned home birth. I am still having contractions everytime I move around, so it is quite possible that when I come off of bed rest this Sunday at midnight and start to move around a bit more, I may go into labour sooner than later. But really, it's very hard to predict these things and the baby is pretty much going to come when s/he damn well feels like it. Stubborn and defiant already...

Just to Clarify...

My good friend Jess called me last night to make sure I was doing okay. I told her I'm feeling just fine to which she seemed a little shocked. Then she told me that she had been thinking this whole time that I had been laying in bed having contractions and suffering intense amounts of pain. Being that all she really knows of being pregnant and labour is from films where women are screaming bloody murder, she just naturally assumed that every contraction must be extremly painful. Fair enough really and totally something I never really thought about. So just to clarify...

I am not in pain. I am uncomfortable at times being that I am laying around all day. My hips hurt and my back aches. When I have a contraction it feels a little intense but it doesn't hurt...yet! Yes contractions do eventually hurt, but for now the most amount of pain I feel is mild period like cramps. Now I have never really thought too hard about trying to explain what a contraction feels like, but I'll give it a try. You know when you look at something like blood or a really bad cut and you get this feeling that wells up from inside you and makes you sort of tingly and light headed. Well I feel like that first and then everything below my ribs and above my pelvis feels like it expands and then tightens into a hard lump. This usually lasts for about 1 minute and then either drops off suddenly or slowly releases. I often get the most amount of contractions when I move around and so when they happen I just need to stop everything and wait it out. Being on bedrest is suppossed to take pressure off my pelvis which is where the baby's head is resting right now. I often get sharp shooting pains thru my pelvis wall when the baby moves around too much, but the pain is really quite mild. Again I just need to stop what I'm doing and wait it out.

I hope that helps clear up any thoughts of me lying around for 10 days in excrutiating pain, cause that is absolutely not the case. In fact I feel pretty good, which is what makes lying around all day a bit frustrating. When you are sick you want nothing more than to lay around doing nothing, but I'm not sick, I'm just pregnant, and I still feel very capable of doing all the things that I watch my family doing all around me. And it's also very frustrating trying to not go into labour when I have spent my entire pregnancy learning how to do just that. But after Sunday at midnight, I can let my body do exactly what it wishes...
See, everything is just fine...

A Few Random Photos...UPDATED!

The baby's room so far thanks to the help of my family...
Our living room floor a quarter of the way done. It looks so beautiful I can hardly wait til it's complete!
Me n' Kona who keeps me company all day and is right now at my side as I post this.

We are holding strongish still. I am experiencing a few cramps here and there, some more strong than others and I am losing my mucus plug bit by bit, which is as pleasant as it sounds...mmmm mucus! I seem to have a lot of strong contractions whenever I move around so I am remaining quite still throughout the day. We have an afternoon midwife appointment tomorrow so we can see if I've dialted any more or if I'm holding out just fine. The flooring is really coming along and I am just so thankful to have a couch to laze about on all day, makes me feel more human, plus I get to be where the action is...

UPDATE:
Just got off the phone with our midwife and seems we will not be going to our appointment tomorrow after all as she doesn't want me to risk coming in for that. She says my signs of labour are still very strong sounding, which would be good if I was full term! So I am to continue to take it easy til Sunday at midnight when we will be 37 weeks and she will pay us a home visit this Friday to check my cervix.

36 Weeks!!

I am still here and baby is still safe and warm inside my belly. 36 Weeks was our first goal so now if I go into labour we can at least give birth at the local hospital with our midwife. Our next goal is to make it to 37 weeks when the baby is considered full term, then we can have the home birth we've been planning for all along. I wouldn't be surprised if we go past the due date and end up having to be induced, because wouldn't that just be ironic!

I really do think the universe was sending us a message to not go to Vancouver. I don't think it was specifically Vancouver that would have done it, but if we had gone I would have continued at the same pace and not taken the time out my body obviously needed. I was going along pretending I wasn't pregnant and doing everything everyone else was doing. I now realise that although it's good to be confident, it's also okay to just be pregnant and take it easy. It's very hard to just lay around all day when I see all the things that still need to get done, but now that I am forced to listen, I can hear that that's all my body actually wants to do. I have had a tremendous amount of help from family and of course Devinder. I think they are all learning that I am a bit stubborn and sometimes need to be told very sternly to just lay down. I am learning that it's okay to ask for help, people want to help and it doesn't mean that I am useless and demanding.

Interesting change that happened since the baby dropped, I almost completely rid of the horrible acid reflux now that the baby is not pushing up on my stomache so much.

8 Months!

Well I made it to 8 months!! 35 weeks and 4 days, hang in their baby!

Over the past 2 days I have recieved so many wonderful words of encouragement thru this blog and through family and friends. I have also recieved many stories of other women who have gone thru similar early labour signs and made it just fine to their due date, and stories of women who have delivered at 35 weeks or earlier and their babies were just fine only needing a few days in the hospital. I must say that when this first began I totally lost hope that this baby might actually hang in there, but today I find myself with a new sense of faith that no matter what happens, things will be just fine. My contractions are still regular and we are still on high alert, but I have this feeling that we may just make it another 10 days!! So thank you to you all!!

Devinder also wanted me to write about how luxurious my life really is now that I am on bedrest. I am so grateful to have him around for this as I know that not all women are as lucky. Last night at midnight I was very hungry. I usually chow down around then on a banana and a bowl of cereal. But we were out of cereal so Devinder happily leapt out of bed and made me eggs and toast!! This morning he brought me breakfst in the bath!! And right now I am eating my lunch in bed. I certainly do hope the baby stays in another 10 days cause this is the life!

Full on Bed Rest

I was laying on the bed today when I started to notice that I was having regular contractions. I grabbed my watch and started keeping track. Sure enough I was getting a minute long contraction every 5 minutes. I recorded them for about an hour before I called Devinder in to call the midwife and we were off to the clinic, hospital overnight bag in hand, just in case. After checking my cervix I am luckily still just 1cm dilated, but the baby has dropped even lower into my pelvis. I left some of my blood and urine at the lab which will help in ruling out anything such as a urinary track infection which can sometimes mask early labour. We have been sent home and I am no longer on modified bed rest but full on bed rest. I had dinner in bed tonight, how fancy! The only thing I am allowed to get up for is to pee and to have a bath as bathing can often slow labour down. Hopefully I can keep the baby in there another 11 days so we can still have a home birth. If we go into labour prior to me being 37 weeks we will have to deliver the baby in Nanaimo, 1 hour south of here as the hospital in town does not deliver premature babies.

So yes, we may get to meet our baby WAY sooner than planned. I am not excited about this. I would way rather the little bambino stayed in there a little longer. And it's slighty confusing trying not to go into labour when I have spent the better part of the last 8 months learning all about how to labour quickly and pain free and all that. I have been learning to listen to my body and now I have to try to not let it do what it really wants to do.

Modified Bed Rest

Well it seems I will not be returning to Vancouver to finish off one last week of work. It seems I am on my my maternity leave already. It's kind of funny how things panned out. I think the universe was talking to us and I am so glad we were listening. We were suppossed to head over to Vancouver last night but the Georgia Straight was being pounded with gail force winds causing the ferries to be rather delayed so we put off our plans til this morning. Yesturday evening I got the worst round of cramps yet, so bad I had to do some deep breathing to get thru them. Then just as I lay down to bed I experienced some more and then again this morning. So we called the midwife and she squeezed us in this mroning before our scheduled departure for Vancouver. After checking my cervix we learned that I am already 1cm dilated and the baby's head is very low in my pelvis. This would be good news if I was 37 weeks, but I am only 35 weeks and 2 days. Our midwife strongly reccommended that I do not go to Vancouver as planned, but instead remain here on modified bed rest. What does that mean exactly? It means I am to do nothing but lie around all day only getting up to pee and eat. I am not to stress or worry about the state of our unfinished house or the fact that I don't have everything ready for the baby or the birth. I am not to do any errands or even walk my own dog. I am to do NOTHING but sleep, eat, pee, read, bathe and watch movies. It's funny because that is exactly what I have been saying I want to do before the baby arrives, but somehow being told to do it doesn't make it as appealing. Not only that, Devinder won't be able to join me as he still has to finish the flooring and go over to Vancouver this weekend for one last day of work and to pick up the rest of our stuff. All I want is the very best for our wee little one, so mommy is taking a time out for 12 days until I am 37 weeks. After that time I can still have a home delivery and the baby will be fully developed and able to survive just fine outside my warm womb. Even if I had the baby today, it would survive, but it would be taken away from us and put in a little room and hooked up to tubes and fed all sorts of strange things.

I had a feeling I wasn't suppossed to go to Vancouver. In fact I had a vision of going into labour on the ferry, which is the last place I want to deliver my baby. I have also been feeling like this baby is coming early. I wonder if by not going to Vancouver if I will feel in a few days like everything will be just fine after all. I also got all emotional when our midwife was telling us all this. My brain kept going "holy shit, this is really happening, I am not going to pregnant forever after all, I really am going to be a mommy soon..."

35 Weeks

Holy crap where did the last week go?? I've hardly been feeling pregnant at all with all the chaos of moving and unpacking that's going on. I feel incredibly lucky actually cause from what I've come to understand, you are not suppossed to feel this good in your third trimester. It's strange how my constant back ache I was experiencing last month has mostly disappeared. I even sleep better now than I did a month ago. My only complaint really is that I have bad cramps throughout the day due to my little bambino hanging out in my pelvis, and I am short of breath even after only a few steps. I am shocked really and wondering if that feeling of being sick to death of being pregnant will even hit me at all. I feel like I must be in for a difficult labour or something to make up for feeling so damn good in my last weeks of pregnancy. Like when things are going so well in your life you automatically wonder if something horrible is on it's way to even the score. I feel so excited about our new life here in Cumberland, I couldn't even bring myslef to make a New Years resolution for improvement, what's to improve, things are great. So why do I feel like that feeling could be taken away at any moment...

We head back to Vancouver tomorrow for our last week of work before we are 100% officially living in Cumberland. Unbelievable...