Happy Halloween - 26 Weeks!!

3D Ultrasound

AMAZING!!!!!! Totally looks like Devinder and devinder's nephew Andrew!! We decided in the car on the way to our appointment not to find out the sex of the baby and as soon as the first image came on the screen, I realised I totally don't care anymore. I am so excited about meeting our baby, it really doesn't matter what sex it is! Devinder's argument for not wanting to find out was pretty good too. He said, unlike me, he doesn't feel that close to the baby, especially because it's not inside him moving around everyday. He said if we found out the sex and we named the baby before it's born he wouldn't feel right about it. He really wants to meet our baby before he assigns a name to it as you really only get to name your child once, he wants to make sure it's absolutely the right name. I owe Devinder that much, after all, I really am hogging all the fun...

25 Weeks

Our child is a revolutionary!! We were at a rally on Friday to support the teachers strike and little fety (I'm trying out a new name in an attempt to forget about wanting to know the sex of our child) was kicking me like mad!! Funnily enough, Jess came over the night before and gave us the Che Guerva onesie you see this very happy baby wearing.

We think we are getting a dog!! It's all we can talk of lately, we just can't seem to agree on a breed. We were thinking of getting a dog after the baby is born but then we thought maybe it's a good idea before cause now we have the time to train it so it will be a little more independant when the baby does come. We were just going to get a Golden Retriever because we both really like them, but then Duston suggested that we do a little research first to see if it's the breed for us. What I have learned is that there are certain breeds out there that are less allergenic, and Golden Retrievers are not one of them. The breed that I think most suits our personalities is the Labradoodle, which is a cross between a Labrador Retriever and a Standard Poodle. The result is a very mild mannered, loyal, and highly intellegent dog who is virtually hypo-allergenic and whose coat is actual hair not fur and easily manageable. Only one problem, Devinder thinks they are hideous. All he wants is a big ole furry dumb dog which admittedly is what I want too, I just think we should at least try to get a dog that he and possibly our child will be less allergic to. Obviously we have a bit more work to do before we actually become doggy parents.

We go for our 3D ultrasound on Thursday and we are both sooooo excited. We still haven't decided if we want to find out the sex of the baby or not. I still feel like I am so close yet so far away from my baby. I hate calling it "it." I feel like if we knew then we could call "it" by it's name instead of silly pet names like pumpkin and fety. As soon as you assign a name to something it really brings it to life. Instead, even though our baby is very much alive, we aren't going to call it by it's name until it sticks it's little head out. Doesn't seem quite right to me. But at the same time, it is still kinda fun guessing and then when he/she is born we can send out the classic "It's a Boy" or It's a Girl" cards which we couldn't really do if everyone already knew...

My Mommy

My mom had her surgery yesturday and everything went very well. There is no cancer - thank you, thank you, oh and did I say THANK YOU!!!

She is recovering in the same hospital where she gave birth to my 2 sisters. Only appropriate she should lose her ovaries there. She has instantly begun menopuase as it is the ovaries which produce the hormones neccessary to keep menopause at bay. She now will take hormone pills for the rest of her life. We still need to learn why her ovaries were the size they were, but knowing whatever caused it is not life threatening just makes it that much easier to wait for news. She should be home by the weekned.

I love you mommy...

Bad Mother?

Amanda last night at bookclub announced that she is having another boy as she just saw and then got confirmation from the sonographer, 2 little balls in her 18 week ultrasound. She said it makes this pregnancy so different from her last one where she didn't know Charlie was a boy until he was born. They already have a name (not that we will know til he's born) and can stop refering to him as "it." She also said that it made her realise how much it totally doesn't matter to her that she will have 2 boys now and no girl. It made me realise or maybe just finally admit, that I really want a girl.

I know that I have said that I only want 2 children, but if I had 2 boys I know I would probably want to try for a girl. I feel like I am a bad mother. But I do know that however many boys I do end up having, I will love them with all my heart. I think it's just that I am a girl and I know girl's since I've been one all my life. I also have a whole tickle trunk full of costumes and play clothes and my Nettie just gave me all the old dolls we 3 sisters used to play with when we came to visit. I also want to live in a house where I am not the only female so I can have an emotional equal and pass on all the wonderful things I have learned over the years about being a women.

All that being said, we may be having a girl for all we know. This whole time I've been feeling like we are having a boy, but then Devinder and I went over the last ultrasound and both remember getting a full on crotch shot with no balls to speak of. We may or may not find out next week when we do the 3D ultrasound and even though I know I want a girl at some point, I still don't know if I really want to know before we meet "it."

24 Weeks

Well I'm not as spry as I used to be that's for sure. I stayed up late dancing at my cousin Amy's wedding on the weekend, and the next day it felt like I had a hangover. My whole entire being was so tired especially my hips which I think are widening right now because my bones are aching. That weird skin pain I had mentioned previously, turned out to be nerve damage, like the baby or something inside is pinching a nerve and it hurts like hell! So far tiger balm, heat and not moving an inch seem to relieve it best. I luckily have found the cure for my acid indigestion - raw almonds, 5 or 6 before, after, during - whenever you want and it really really works! I also have to really watch my posture as everything is all squished up under my stomach and if I slouch for too long my stomach muscles contract and wont let go. As a result I often have muscle pain along my right side of my back just under the bra line.

Well, it sounds like I'm only experiencing pain and discomfort, so I'll just say right now that that is not true. I am really enjoying being pregnant. All those things are just minor irritants that I want to keep track of for future pregnancies. All in all, things are great. We are feeling the baby kick more and more and harder and harder. It still feels wonderful and doesn't hurt a bit yet. I feel very connected with the little pumpkin, my best friend who lights up my life with the slightest little movement or the hardest little kick. I feel incredibly lucky that things have gone so well so far and I am so looking forward to being a mom.

I had a cool experience dancing a slow dance with Devinder at the wedding. My belly was touching his and it felt like there were three of dancing together...

23 Weeks

An emotional Thanksgiving weekend centered around women's reproductive organs. The ability to make life is so precious and mysterious. My prenatal yoga instructor said the most interesting thing last night. Once you have created life, you are instantly preparing yourself for the death of that life, because that is the cycle of life. Death is inevitable and once you are alive, you are on the road to your death.

My sister Kyla found out she was pregnant last week. There was much rejoicing and excitement about the prospect of us 2 sisters being pregnant together and about our children being so close in age. It's hard not to get so excited even if in the back of your mind you know that at anytime that excitement can be taken away from you. That's exactly what Kyla said after she miscarried on Sunday, it's not so much the loss of a life, but the loss of this great joy that was in all our lives for such a short time. She created life and had to say goodbye to that life in such a short time it seems so unfair.

My mom went in for a totally unrelated ultrasound only to find out that her ovaries are incredibly enlarged. She goes into surgery next Wednesday to have them completely removed. A lot of life came from those ovaries, including mine and now they too must finish the cycle of life.

I, like most pregnant women, worry. It's easy to say yes I understand the cycle of life, but to accept it is another thing entirely. Our prenatal instructor also said we should prepare ourselves for loss, because it does happen, it has happened, to my sister just this weekend, and to many other women who have created life. I know that there is no point to worrying about that which I cannot control but I don't know how to prepare myself, does anyone ever know how to prepare themselves? Would it have been any easier for any women who has had a miscarriage if they had properly prepared themselves? My Nana had 2 miscarriages and after all these years she says you never forget...

5 Months!!!

Yikes that went fast, only 4 more months to go!!

Holy Acid Reflux Batman!! It's like I don't even get hunger pains anymore, or nausea when I'm hungry. Instead, as soon as I'm empty it's acid up the throat - YUCK!! Now I know what my mom goes thru everyday, and it aint fun. I think I still prefer it over nausea, but only slightly. Other than that I'm feeling good. Really tired and fairly emotional, in the needy kind of way. I think Devinder should be enjoying it though cause he gets a lot of hugs out of it!! We are feeling the baby kick more and more and it's the most amazing feeling in the world!! I used to only feel it when I layed down at night, but yesturday it was kicking me during a meeting at work. I have to admit when it started kicking I instantly tuned out of the meeting and was only paying attention to my belly. I must remember to thank the little critter one day for saving me from a very boring meeting!!

I have no idea if this irritation is at all related to being pregnant, but lately I have been so annoyed by people not listening and having to repeat myslef. It's happened with different people at different times and I am starting to think maybe I am droning on or speaking in a way that makes people want to tune me out. Maybe it happens all the time and I just seem to be uber sensitive to it right now, but damn I wish it would stop. It happened at Cafe Du Soliel the other day during breakfast. I was telling Devinder something or other and after I finished he asked me all these questions which he wouldn't have had to have asked if he was listening!! Well this girl who was sitting at a table across from us was listening and she burst out laughing saying the same thing happens with her husband! Devinder of course was thinking about sound gear while I was talking which he figured was a pretty good excuse for not listening...

22 weeks

Everything is good except for this weird skin pain, which I am sure must just be my skin stretching, but it feels strange and sometimes I worry about it. Anyone else experience this while pregnant? It feels like the skin is bruised or like all the hairs on my belly are being pulled continually. I also woke up Saturday with a pulled butt muscle. I have no idea if this is related to being pregnant or not, but it made shopping for maternity clothes very painful. Yes I now own a pair of maternity jeans with the elastic waist band, and damn, they are the most comfortable thing in the world!!

I have been marveling at all the old wives tales for determining your baby's sex. Below I have listed the wives tales and my answer for each:

1. Conceived as soon as the egg dropped - YES, therefore BOY
2. Carrying High - I have been told I am therefore - GIRL
3. Craving sweets or Salts - Sweets, therefore - GIRL
4. Morning sickness in first trimester - YES, therefore BOY
5. Ring on a string test, back and forth or circles - back and forth, therefore - BOY
6. Chinese Calendar - GIRL
7. Fetal heart rate above or below 140bpm - Above, therefore - GIRL
8. Husband puts on weight during pregnancy - No, therefore - BOY
9. One breast larger than the other - Left breast, therefore - BOY
10. My Aunt Brenda's reaction when she saw the ultrasound - GIRL

Add em up and we have a shemale - ha ha ha ha ha!!! I can see why people wait to find out the sex of their baby - this is just too much fun!!