23 Weeks
An emotional Thanksgiving weekend centered around women's reproductive organs. The ability to make life is so precious and mysterious. My prenatal yoga instructor said the most interesting thing last night. Once you have created life, you are instantly preparing yourself for the death of that life, because that is the cycle of life. Death is inevitable and once you are alive, you are on the road to your death.My sister Kyla found out she was pregnant last week. There was much rejoicing and excitement about the prospect of us 2 sisters being pregnant together and about our children being so close in age. It's hard not to get so excited even if in the back of your mind you know that at anytime that excitement can be taken away from you. That's exactly what Kyla said after she miscarried on Sunday, it's not so much the loss of a life, but the loss of this great joy that was in all our lives for such a short time. She created life and had to say goodbye to that life in such a short time it seems so unfair.
My mom went in for a totally unrelated ultrasound only to find out that her ovaries are incredibly enlarged. She goes into surgery next Wednesday to have them completely removed. A lot of life came from those ovaries, including mine and now they too must finish the cycle of life.
I, like most pregnant women, worry. It's easy to say yes I understand the cycle of life, but to accept it is another thing entirely. Our prenatal instructor also said we should prepare ourselves for loss, because it does happen, it has happened, to my sister just this weekend, and to many other women who have created life. I know that there is no point to worrying about that which I cannot control but I don't know how to prepare myself, does anyone ever know how to prepare themselves? Would it have been any easier for any women who has had a miscarriage if they had properly prepared themselves? My Nana had 2 miscarriages and after all these years she says you never forget...
posted by Reesh at 1:23 PM
4 Comments:
I'm so sorry about your sister's loss. My prayers will be with her this week. And with your mother as well... I know what it's like to have your mother go through something scary like that. And the silver lining in all of this is that you have one another to hold on to... again, my prayers are with you :)
It's just not fair...
Hope that someday, after 9 months of worrying, your sister & partner will have a little one make her days happy.
Fingers crossed for your Mum too.
That is so sad about your sister and worrisome about your mom. It sounds like you are very close and she will have lots of support from you. My prayers are with you!
*This will be a long post - sorry in advance!* You never do forget. I miscarried in March, and here I am pregnant again, about 8 weeks along. I don't think there is a way to prepare for something like that. This time around, I feel myself tring to stay more disassociated, but it's not really working. The idea of losing this baby too makes me want to burst into tears. But I feel more confident about this pregnancy. I feel different, I am much more nauseous, which is oddly reassuring (or maybe not so odd). And my breasts have gotten much bigger. Don't tell your sister, "Well now you know you can at least get pregnant," or "You'll get pregnant again soon," because that will not make her feel better. She doesn't want some other baby, she wanted this one! Also, don't constantly ask her over the coming months if she thinks she's pregnant yet. That was like a stabbing knife every time someone asked me that, because it reminded me of what I had lost, and how I wasn't pregnant. She might find it helpful to talk to other women who have miscarried too, because I know I felt like those were the only people who could really understand how I felt. Just be there for your sister, and available for her to vent and cry to. Thankfully I had my husband & friends who helped me, who were just there for me. And now we are all overjoyed about this baby!
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